Year in Review
Well, that does it for 2006.
This last year has been one of much change in my life. Most of it good, some of it not so good. It seems that I'm taking my own advise in not remembering the not so good parts, because honestly none come to mind. What a great year I had.
It started innocently enough. Nothing really new and nothing exciting going on, beyond the whole legal thing that I was drowning in. Spring seemed to help out a lot because that's when things started taking a serious turn for the better. Some of you might not know this, but for the majority of my adult life, I've fought a pitched battel against insomnia (half the reason I work third shift; figure I may as well be doing something constructive) that was a real pain in my side. It's not just that I had difficulties sleeping, per se. I just couldn't get my mind to SHUT THE FUCK UP! Seriously. I would lay there in bed for four or five hours at a time, trying every technique I knew to get my mind to quiet and go to sleep. None of it worked. This has plagued me since I was around 21 or 22. Looking back now, I see what caused my problem and why I'm pleased that I don't have this problem anymore.
When I used to lay there with my mind buzzing from one thing to another, it was always centering on the money I owed to various ceditors and companies I'd aquired through my life. It may not seem like a lot for some people, but being thousands of dollars in debt with nothing to show for it tends to give me anxiety problems which manifested in insomnia. I could lay there and catalog all the problems I had in my life up until April and I could narrow them all down to, "I don't have enough money to take care of this problem." When May rolled around and my old 89 camry finally broke down on me, it gave me incentive to start fixing some of those problems, full well knowing that I was getting a large amount of money soon that would once and for all take care of all my past bills. Over the course of the summer and into fall Once I got my settlement, I payed everything off.
I cannot adequately describe how liberating a feeling it was to just make all my problems go away. No more debts unless they were new one's that I had under control. There were a few times when I would be driving somewhere and I would think about it that my eye would well up because I felt like a prisoner who'd finally been set free. I was no longer seemingly chained down to my area and I could (theoreticly) move to anywhere in the world if I wanted to. It's hard to describe the feeling. It was better than anything I'd ever felt at the time.
Of course, not all the changes in my life this last year have been financially based. My social life had a significant change to it that I am very grateful for. Earlier in the year, I'd decided that it was seriously time to just cut a few lose ends out of my life because, honestly, they just weren't doing anything for me at all. If anything, they were a detrement that I was getting no reward or no possitive feedback from. I honestly did try to change a few of them. I attempted to fix a few problems between myself and a few of the people I knew, but in the end, their own hubris couldn't be satisfied and so, with some reluctance, I let them go. All in all, I honestly don't miss them. I did what I could, but any relationship, no matter what kind, requires both parties to participate in it. If you're putting your all into something and not getting anything back, then it's time to say goodbye, no matter how painful or uncomfortable that goodbye may be. Again, I feel a little sad, but in the end I felt that I was doing what was best for me and for them at the same time.
I'm honestly not sure yet where I sit with my internet friends I've known for so many years. I really wish I could keep in touch with them, but it seems that they've all gotten distant. I miss them and it's a real shame that I can't talk to them anymore, because I could have used some support 13 months ago when things got real bad here. But my real friends helped out where they could and so I know that there are people I can rely on.
Not only did I lose some people, but I gained a few as well. My little boy and his family are back and I couldn't be any happier. My only regret is that I didn't get another $50,000 in that settlement so I could help them get their new house in order. But I am confident that things will go well for them. Call it a feeling. I feel much better with them withing a twenty minute drive rather than 14 hours.
So, 2006 has ended officially and 2007 is waiting for me to join in the fun and see what I can get out of it. I hope that those who I love and care for have as good a year as I hope I do.
This last year has been one of much change in my life. Most of it good, some of it not so good. It seems that I'm taking my own advise in not remembering the not so good parts, because honestly none come to mind. What a great year I had.
It started innocently enough. Nothing really new and nothing exciting going on, beyond the whole legal thing that I was drowning in. Spring seemed to help out a lot because that's when things started taking a serious turn for the better. Some of you might not know this, but for the majority of my adult life, I've fought a pitched battel against insomnia (half the reason I work third shift; figure I may as well be doing something constructive) that was a real pain in my side. It's not just that I had difficulties sleeping, per se. I just couldn't get my mind to SHUT THE FUCK UP! Seriously. I would lay there in bed for four or five hours at a time, trying every technique I knew to get my mind to quiet and go to sleep. None of it worked. This has plagued me since I was around 21 or 22. Looking back now, I see what caused my problem and why I'm pleased that I don't have this problem anymore.
When I used to lay there with my mind buzzing from one thing to another, it was always centering on the money I owed to various ceditors and companies I'd aquired through my life. It may not seem like a lot for some people, but being thousands of dollars in debt with nothing to show for it tends to give me anxiety problems which manifested in insomnia. I could lay there and catalog all the problems I had in my life up until April and I could narrow them all down to, "I don't have enough money to take care of this problem." When May rolled around and my old 89 camry finally broke down on me, it gave me incentive to start fixing some of those problems, full well knowing that I was getting a large amount of money soon that would once and for all take care of all my past bills. Over the course of the summer and into fall Once I got my settlement, I payed everything off.
I cannot adequately describe how liberating a feeling it was to just make all my problems go away. No more debts unless they were new one's that I had under control. There were a few times when I would be driving somewhere and I would think about it that my eye would well up because I felt like a prisoner who'd finally been set free. I was no longer seemingly chained down to my area and I could (theoreticly) move to anywhere in the world if I wanted to. It's hard to describe the feeling. It was better than anything I'd ever felt at the time.
Of course, not all the changes in my life this last year have been financially based. My social life had a significant change to it that I am very grateful for. Earlier in the year, I'd decided that it was seriously time to just cut a few lose ends out of my life because, honestly, they just weren't doing anything for me at all. If anything, they were a detrement that I was getting no reward or no possitive feedback from. I honestly did try to change a few of them. I attempted to fix a few problems between myself and a few of the people I knew, but in the end, their own hubris couldn't be satisfied and so, with some reluctance, I let them go. All in all, I honestly don't miss them. I did what I could, but any relationship, no matter what kind, requires both parties to participate in it. If you're putting your all into something and not getting anything back, then it's time to say goodbye, no matter how painful or uncomfortable that goodbye may be. Again, I feel a little sad, but in the end I felt that I was doing what was best for me and for them at the same time.
I'm honestly not sure yet where I sit with my internet friends I've known for so many years. I really wish I could keep in touch with them, but it seems that they've all gotten distant. I miss them and it's a real shame that I can't talk to them anymore, because I could have used some support 13 months ago when things got real bad here. But my real friends helped out where they could and so I know that there are people I can rely on.
Not only did I lose some people, but I gained a few as well. My little boy and his family are back and I couldn't be any happier. My only regret is that I didn't get another $50,000 in that settlement so I could help them get their new house in order. But I am confident that things will go well for them. Call it a feeling. I feel much better with them withing a twenty minute drive rather than 14 hours.
So, 2006 has ended officially and 2007 is waiting for me to join in the fun and see what I can get out of it. I hope that those who I love and care for have as good a year as I hope I do.
posted by Not Your TGM | 12:32 AM
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