SOOOOOOO not busy
Yeah, I'm a bad monkey for not updating in gods' only know how long.
Mainly due to the fact that I haven't had all that much to say, really. I guess my life as a not so typical gay man is boring for the most part. Oh, yeah, there's been a few funny things here and there, but for the most part, it's all inside jokes. Also, it seems that two people read this on a semi-regular basis and both those people have my number, so it's only natural for them to just call me and get an update. Not that I'm angry at the internet for ignoring me or anything. To be honest, I've found that I don't care all the much anymore. Most of the people I once knew online seem to have forgotten I exist and don't bother to drop me a line just to say, "hey, just making sure you're still breathing."
Wouldn't that be something? To totally put off emailing a good friend for months and months until you finally do send them something only to not get a reply and then months later after that have another guy you talk to on a highly infrequent basis tell you, "oh, yeah, he died in a car wreck three months ago," or something like that. I tried my best to keep up with most of them but for the most part, I just got the impression I was just taking up their time talking to them. So, whatever.
Christmas is going to be a sight to see this year since I managed to buy everyone I know something. Except Zach. I couldn't find a piece of coal his size. The puppy is growing at an alarming rate. The vet thinks he could end up being bigger than the hound I currently have. That could make the house fun to live in. the money I got from profitting off my dad's death is still holding steady at a decent amount (I call it that because a former friend of mine, in a pique of hysteria and anger at me for an imagined slight decided she was going to bash me through my father. She forgot I didn't care, but yet I found it amusing.)
Life is going rather well for the most part and I have no over all complaints except how maybe it would be fun if I had a boyfriend, but I'm not holding my breath on that one because it seems any guy interested in me is usually only interested in the things I can do for them, not me as a person. Very discouraging and it makes the next guys work that much harder to get to know me. For all I know, I've tossed Mr. Perfect and Mr. Right out the door long ago because he was too much of a wuss to take a few hits before giving up. After reading all that, I guess it's safe to say that life isn't going all that well, but I really don't care about the bad stuff. I generally ignore it and focus on the important things.
Recently, a good friend of mine and I were having a talk about the people we've pretty much severed permanently from our lives. I asked her if people just generally felt that I thought I was better than they were. Because it seems most of the people who've ever been negative towards me had that mindset in their heads when they start spitting venom at me. She eventually conceeded that it's possible that that's how people see it. What I tried to tell her, was that I've never had that thought go through my head before. I've never compared myself to other people and used that as a measuring stick in my own life. I try to be a better person, yeah, but I try to be better than the person I know I COULD be. I've seen Evil Jon up close and personal, and he scares me sometimes. That's why I don't let him out of the box anymore. I work through the negative shit and keep myself from falling into the traps that I could fall into.
Beyond buying presents (can't wait for the kids to get theirs. I'll take pictures!!) and playing WarCrack, life is pretty stable and unremarkable. Yule came and went and I didn't get a phone call from anyone in Canton. THIS IS A GOOD THING. I have all the family I need here in my area now. I am, to sum it all up in one word: Content.
Blessing on all of you for the new year.
Mainly due to the fact that I haven't had all that much to say, really. I guess my life as a not so typical gay man is boring for the most part. Oh, yeah, there's been a few funny things here and there, but for the most part, it's all inside jokes. Also, it seems that two people read this on a semi-regular basis and both those people have my number, so it's only natural for them to just call me and get an update. Not that I'm angry at the internet for ignoring me or anything. To be honest, I've found that I don't care all the much anymore. Most of the people I once knew online seem to have forgotten I exist and don't bother to drop me a line just to say, "hey, just making sure you're still breathing."
Wouldn't that be something? To totally put off emailing a good friend for months and months until you finally do send them something only to not get a reply and then months later after that have another guy you talk to on a highly infrequent basis tell you, "oh, yeah, he died in a car wreck three months ago," or something like that. I tried my best to keep up with most of them but for the most part, I just got the impression I was just taking up their time talking to them. So, whatever.
Christmas is going to be a sight to see this year since I managed to buy everyone I know something. Except Zach. I couldn't find a piece of coal his size. The puppy is growing at an alarming rate. The vet thinks he could end up being bigger than the hound I currently have. That could make the house fun to live in. the money I got from profitting off my dad's death is still holding steady at a decent amount (I call it that because a former friend of mine, in a pique of hysteria and anger at me for an imagined slight decided she was going to bash me through my father. She forgot I didn't care, but yet I found it amusing.)
Life is going rather well for the most part and I have no over all complaints except how maybe it would be fun if I had a boyfriend, but I'm not holding my breath on that one because it seems any guy interested in me is usually only interested in the things I can do for them, not me as a person. Very discouraging and it makes the next guys work that much harder to get to know me. For all I know, I've tossed Mr. Perfect and Mr. Right out the door long ago because he was too much of a wuss to take a few hits before giving up. After reading all that, I guess it's safe to say that life isn't going all that well, but I really don't care about the bad stuff. I generally ignore it and focus on the important things.
Recently, a good friend of mine and I were having a talk about the people we've pretty much severed permanently from our lives. I asked her if people just generally felt that I thought I was better than they were. Because it seems most of the people who've ever been negative towards me had that mindset in their heads when they start spitting venom at me. She eventually conceeded that it's possible that that's how people see it. What I tried to tell her, was that I've never had that thought go through my head before. I've never compared myself to other people and used that as a measuring stick in my own life. I try to be a better person, yeah, but I try to be better than the person I know I COULD be. I've seen Evil Jon up close and personal, and he scares me sometimes. That's why I don't let him out of the box anymore. I work through the negative shit and keep myself from falling into the traps that I could fall into.
Beyond buying presents (can't wait for the kids to get theirs. I'll take pictures!!) and playing WarCrack, life is pretty stable and unremarkable. Yule came and went and I didn't get a phone call from anyone in Canton. THIS IS A GOOD THING. I have all the family I need here in my area now. I am, to sum it all up in one word: Content.
Blessing on all of you for the new year.
posted by Not Your TGM | 4:37 AM
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