The weekend that came and went

And yet, it's only Saturday!

Had a talk with one of my ex's. The first ex. The Queen of all Ex's. He who was slutty and cheap and is now having to face his past in an ugly ugly way. I don't want to name name's (well, yeah, I do, but I enjoy some suspense every once in awhile) but let's just say I met him at the tender age of 19, he was older and I thought wiser (BOY WAS I WRONG.) Anyway, we broke up not too long after starting our little trist and managed to take a sometimes amicable friendship out of the whole mess.

Yesterday morning, I was talking to him online. He was at home and drunk (this is not unusual) and we were just talking about nothing too important when he tells me, "I have a favor to ask of you."

"I can't guarentee that I'll be able to do it, put I will listen and see what I can do."

"Last week when we were out and you kissed me? Don't do that again. It reminds me painfully of what I passed up years ago."

WHOA! Talk about a surprise. Come to find out, he's been holding a subtle little torch for me for years. He gave up on us mainly because the man he's with now (and has been forever and a day) gave him the security (read: money) he was wanting but there's no real love there. Duh...! I could have told anyone that. Obviously there's no love if you're both sleeping around behind each other's backs. Then again, it made total sense. He was always jealous whenever I had a boyfriend afterwards and not a few times did he go out of his way to attempt to sabotage my relationships with them.

Believe it or not, him saying that made me feel pretty damn good. Not because I felt the same way towards him OH HELL NO. But, it did give me a cold sort of satisfaction to know that he's always going to wish for something he'll never have again and that's all that I needed to make this a good weekend.

Of course, most of you out there in internetland have next to no idea what I'm talking about and that's just fine. Keep reading and someday I'll make it all make sense.

For now, though, I can sum this whole thing up in two words:

I win.

I'll need a hand to hold

So, last night at work, I was online and noticed that the MSNBC website was showing movie trailers after I'd been away from the computer for about half an hour. I decided to check out all of the trailers and ran into the one for Brokeback Mountain. I'd heard of the movie already and thought it sounded interesting, so I'd already made plans to go see it. After seeing the trailer, I'm going to have to change my course of actions.

I'm gonna need someone to go in on this one with me. I can't take a date, and I can't take another guy, no matter what. I'm thinking I'm gonna have to tap Jules to go with me because (this is so embarassing to write, but I may as well) after watching the trailer, I JUST KNOW I'm gonna end up shedding more than a few tears. I'm hoping this is going to be the kind of movie I've been hoping to see for a long time. I have to wait two months, but damn, I'll go through hell and back if I have to to go see this.

You should to.

Spazz

So, I had to run to the bank through an obscene amount of road construction and back home. Unfortunately, I was gone far to long for the dog's tastes. Of course, he get's bent if you're out of the house longer than two seconds, so there's no real way to meet his expectation. Today, though, when I got home, he was nearly bouncing around the entire house.

Hm... Me thinks, my little Lassie-wanna-be is trying to tell me something.

I'm slowly getting ready for bed which, today, consists of me moving portions of my sleeping paraphenalia downstairs to the basement which is my back up sleeping spot for when it's too hot upstairs to sleep. Yes, it's hot in Illinois. In October. My only excuse is that someone forgot to tell something this is FALL and it's time someone turn down the heat. 88 fucking degrees, my ass...

As I was going upstairs, I had to go by the front door. As I got in front of the door, Sammy (the aforementioned dog) started to act like a child with far too much sugar in his system. A clue perhaps? I got my stuff, came back downstairs and went to the backdoor where there's a nicely fenced in portion of yard for him to covort around without my constant adult supervision. Sure enough, three steps out of the door and he's fountain dog.

I just let him out like four hours ago and he peed then. I can only ask, "What the hell have you been drinking dog?!"

Stupid is as stupid does

I'm pretty pleased with this new blog and I'm looking forward to showing it off to everyone in the world. What I'm hoping to do is just to have a place where I can be me. It's not as easy as one might think. When you know that there's people who you know personally reading this you kind of try to keep it subdued whenever you really want to rant about something but you don't want to hurt someone's feelings.

See, this is why I left Live journal. Too many people who knew me and were also the source of much stress in my life. I'm not going to go into it other than to say that if they find this site, great. If they don't, whatever. I'm trying to keep myself a good person for the most part and keep the drama away from me instead of flying right in my face.

Of course, there are challanges to all of this. I can't post about certain things no matter what. Like work. I'm never going to post anything about my current job other than to say that I work in a hotel. Why, you ask? Ask Heather. She'll tell you. Other challanges have already been met and conquered. Oh, nothing big. Just little things. Things like REMEMBERING MY FUCKING LOGIN! I made this thing only ten hours ago and in that short span of time I totally forgot my login in here. How stupid is that?

Someday I'm hoping to have pictures on here for all the world to see. But, I want to do it right and I'm not going to do it until I can do it right. Oh, and I'm never going to post another one of those cute little tests on my site. This is a social place and I'm not going to litter it with filth.

Oh, yes, about the comments thing: I'm not big on it, really. I always want to comment on my friends blogs, but unless it's something REALLY important, I don't mainly because it's just something that I don't think should be done. It's their blog not mine. I'm not all that into getting them either. I know a lot of people use them to stay in contact with me, but I'd rather get an email sent to me than just a little snippit of something. So, no comments on here. Email's are the prefered way to let me know just how much you hate my site.

So, no work posts. No Comments. Sheesh, I just take the fun out of this whole thing don't I. I'm not going to lie and say it isn't about protecting myself to some degree because it is. The last comment I got on a blog made me cry. It made me cry because it was so filled with anger and hatred directed towards me about something that had nothing to do with them. They were just being hurtful to be hurtful at a percieved slight. No warning. No, "hey, you weren't talking about me, were you?" Just a vile hate filled comment meant to hurt me and make them feel better. I don't need that in my life. I get plenty of it in the real world. Yeah, I could have told them, "Chill, this isn't about you," but I'm too tired to care that much anymore if they can't take the time and privately talk to me instead of blasting me on the internet for all my friends to see. Of course, the real shame of it is that they just made themselves to look like a total and complete idiot. And, should anyone who saw that last post (notice the lack of linkage to my old blog?) read this, they're going to know just how selfish and hurtful it was of them to do what they did.

That's all I need to feel better about it and now I can move on and begin to heal.

I'll write more when I get home from work in the morning. Right now, I'm just going to get something to eat and then get ready for work.

Fresh Start

I've kept a live journal for about two years now. In those two years, lots of things have happened. I'm going to try and not relive them here because, frankly, they're pretty much best left in the past.

On this site, I'm going to be more or less talking about the present and hopefully entertain people with the weirdness that is my life.

I know everyone says that, but I'm almost possitive no one's told them, "Dude, the things that happened to you don't happen in the real world." No, they usually don't. Or at least, they shouldn't. So, this is the start of something I hope I'm going to enjoy. Don't be surprised if my gayness starts to show on here or that my political views creep into the mix every now and then. I'm not ashamed of who I am and I'm a citizen of this country which means I am allowed, and sometimes I feel, required, to speak out when I think speaking out is needed.

So, without further ado, I give you the Typical Gay Man's blog.

Oh, I'm sorry if I dissapoint anyone if I'm not constantly talking about which guy I'm screwing or what parties I've been to in the last week. I'm a Typical Gay Man, which means that we live in the REAL WORLD just like everyone else. Yes, sometimes, we get to have fun, but for the most part, we're just trying to live our lives just like everyone else. The kids on your TV screen are a fantasy created by Hollywood to make people think that gay men are these otherworldly people who seem to have no cares in the world who look perfect and have perfect boyfriends. Oh, and then there's the sex. Sex sex sex sex sex. No really. If you stop and actually look at nearly all the typical gay stereotypes in the media, it's always the gay guy who not just jumps from bed to bed, but CATAPULTS from one side of the country to another. If you were to actually believe they were honestly having that much sex, I think they'd be in competition with McDonalds by now. No, I have sex, just not every two hours. More like every seasonal change. Maybe. The thing is is that, I've gotten to a point in my life where sex really isn't that big of a deal. I mean, yeah, it's definately fun and always a good way to pass a few hours of boredom, but for the most part, unless there's something else in the mix, it get's boring real quick.

Anyway, enough about sex. I'm already tired of writing about it. And enough about the whole Gay thing too. I mean, I may be gay, but there's more to me than just that. But, don't tell the government that. They'd never believe you. My very presence is sure to defile the sanctity of any marriage within a square mile. I doubt it's a coincidence that less than three years after I was born, my parents divorved. btw, that's a joke. If you took any of that seriously, please move on. No more warnings from here on out about my humor. It's dry and I think it's hilarious.

So, this is the first of many posts. I'll honestly try to post everyday, but we'll just have to see where that goes from here on out.